6 most common mistakes women make in relationships

Merge together or be afraid of any addiction; allow yourself to be adored or sacrifice everything for the sake of another – if there is an imbalance in the relationship, it is difficult to avoid disappointment. Expert advice on how to start making a difference.

“I fall in love with those with whom you can’t get close.”

“Such a man is unlikely to pretend to be a husband, which means that you can maintain your independence, not think about your family, children, that is, about what strongly and permanently changes the life of any woman,” says Jungian analyst Stanislav Raevsky. In other words, women are pushed to such communication by an unconscious fear of deep relationships. Where does it come from? “As a rule, from childhood,” Stanislav Raevsky continues. – Perhaps the woman does not want or is unconsciously afraid to repeat the communication scheme of her parents (for example, when her father was disrespectful to her mother). Or maybe the fear of invasion of her privacy appeared due to strong pressure from adults. ” How to be? Understand what makes you fear intimacy and trust that a deep relationship with your partner will not take your freedom away.

“I give too much”

“This behavior is usually caused by the fear of losing a partner,” explains psychoanalyst Lola Komarova. – Most often, women tend to enter into such relationships. They fix themselves on the object of their passion and strive to fulfill all his desires with only one purpose – to keep him and awaken love in him. ” However, in response to such stifling behavior, the partner fears that he will lose himself, become totally dependent, and lose his freedom. As a result, he seeks to distance himself, creates distance, tries to demonstrate his freedom. “It is important to stop getting hung up on the object of your love and try to find something that will distract you from what is happening: an interesting occupation, an exciting job, a hobby,” continues Lola Komarova. – The main thing is that the relationship ceases to be the only fulcrum, the meaning of life, so that the partners have something important that does not directly concern the relationship between them. And the most natural thing is raising children “.

“Love consumes me entirely”

At first, strong, passionate feelings captivate and capture all of us, but if love turns into dependence on a partner, you should not hope for a successful relationship. They will most likely be too painful, they will take away too much mental strength. “The need for love, which turns an adult into a child dependent on a parent, can in fact mean that the person refuses and / or fears any responsibility,” explains French psychotherapist Marc Valleur, an addiction psychologist. – In addition, she talks about his insatiable desire to make up for the lack of love in childhood, and maybe about the lack of self-confidence and self-respect. In this case, the partner gets a difficult and unprofitable role – to fill his inner emptiness. ” Serious therapeutic work is required to deal with this painfully recurring, childhood-rooted condition..

Identify love addiction

How to understand that the need for love is becoming painful? Family therapist Violaine-Patricia Galbert suggests reading the following quotes. If you recognize yourself in one or more of them, it is worth talking to a psychologist about it..

  • When I have problems, I look for an outlet in a love relationship: they plunge me into a state of euphoria, and I begin to feel better.
  • I always put love first: only such relationships matter, and the rest simply does not interest me. Such thoughts have always been inherent in me.
  • It doesn’t matter how the consequences of a love affair will affect the social, professional or financial side of my life. The main thing is that at this moment it becomes easier for me to live and breathe. And even if the relationship hurts, I cannot end it..
  • When my beloved is not around, I am sorely missing something. It drives me crazy, and I can do anything, just not to be alone.
  • Over time, I need more and more of the other person and less of pleasure. It weighs on me, I feel guilty and lose my respect..