The family psychologist spoke frankly about the relationship between men and women.
We’ve been waiting for this! For a smart man to come, he explained everything to us about relationships and taught us how to live happily ever after. Meet – on Wday.ru Pavel Zygmantovich, the most categorical psychologist in the world who will give answers to eternal women’s questions.
I’ll start right away with a tough thesis: there are women who will always lack attention from a man. Even so: ALWAYS. No matter what a man does, no matter how hard he tries, for such women, his attention will always not be enough.
Who are these women? Many, many.
Wow. Here is a tough thesis expressed, the readers are outraged (the readers are, perhaps, happy), it’s time to reduce the intensity of passions and understand everything in detail.
For women, relationships come first on the list of priorities, and for men – third (business comes first).
Actually, this is the reason for the constant lack of attention from a man (here I am taking an average situation; a situation from an anecdote where a wife meets her husband in a gas mask, and he does not even notice this, we do not consider).
Making a relationship with a man the center of their whole life (and many women do so), it is simply impossible to get enough attention from him. Physically impossible. One person cannot satisfy such a passion of another person.
Let me explain. Normally, a person is a versatile personality. He has various needs, motives, goals, interests, hobbies. They are all arranged in a certain (rather conventional) hierarchy. The connection between them is complex, not always easy to calculate – this is normal..
Such a complex inner world (let’s call it all that way) appeared in a person for a reason. Among other things, this complexity makes a person stronger: if it did not work out in one place, then it will work out in another. Failure and disheveled feelings at work are brightened up by a happy marriage and family life. Yes, the boss scolded at work, the subordinates let them down, the suppliers set them up, the clients did not pay … But at home the children are cheerful, the spouse is smiling, hugging, supporting.
And if it doesn’t work well at home, there are friends / girlfriends with whom you can discuss all the most important topics.
Friends unavailable? There are macrame and tank models that you can knit, glue and admire your creation.
No macramé and models? You can go swimming or running.
In general, it is normal for a healthy person to have several goals, motives, needs, and so on – in general, a rich inner world. Such possession is very useful, because it strengthens the psychological well-being of a person..
Alas, there are people (and now we are talking about those of them who are women) who somehow narrow their inner world to one person. Work, interests, models of tanks and girlfriends – it’s all subordinated to one thing. Namely: happiness next to this man.
And all would be fine, but such focusing leads to an unpleasant bias – such a woman has only one entertainment in her life. Relations. This is inevitable – the rest is not important, not interesting, gray when compared with relationships.
And here we (and the women mentioned) will be hit.
If a relationship is the biggest fun in life, then that relationship will never be good. Because entertainment is good only when there are different emotions – somewhere to get scared, somewhere to strain, somewhere to be happy.
See the sledging downhill. It’s scary at first, exciting in the process, and fun below. Here’s some great fun. If a woman’s relationship is the only entertainment, she will diligently make it worse, so that it is more fun, so that there is something to worry about. Everything is as in the title of the note – such a woman will never have enough attention from her husband..
She will suffer that she has little attention, she will surf the Internet and will definitely stumble upon Zygmantovich, ask him a question in the comments, quarrel with someone in the same place, write a big post on Facebook, but erase and go to make tea, but forget about him, having burst into tears at the window from his unhappiness, then he will write an SMS to the man that he does not appreciate her and in general her life is terrible, then he will drop his calls, because he, such a bastard, insincerely remembered about her, and before that did not even think to call … In general, our heroine will have a wonderful time. Full, lively, emotionally.
Only happiness will not increase – a man will very quickly escape from such a relationship. The one who is stronger in spirit will simply leave. Whoever is sicker will die (literally, from the eternal hassle his immunity will weaken, and there any infection can become fatal).
And the woman will be left alone. Then he will find himself a new man and again narrow his whole world down to him alone. Further – according to the well-known scenario.
What to do with all this? The answer is obvious – do your life too. As one young lady elegantly formulated when she applied this advice in practice, “I began to spend more time outside the relationship, more for myself.”.