5 rules for dealing with a man with a complex character

Our expert gives very important advice.

Building good relationships with people is a valuable skill, but, unfortunately, not everyone strives for this and sometimes you have to deal with people with very difficult characters. In most cases, communication with such people can be limited or avoided altogether. But what if your partner has a difficult personality? How to communicate with a beloved man who has a complex character? It is certainly not easy to depend on the good mood of the other half, but knowing the basic rules for communicating with this type of men, you can reduce the number of quarrels and minimize conflicts.

Elena Yarikova

PhD in Psychology, Television Expert

Do not criticize and exclude claims

As a rule, people with a complex character acutely perceive all information addressed to their person (except for praise). It seems to them that they are accused and are always dissatisfied with them, therefore they react sharply to criticism and almost always the dialogue will end in conflict. Do not try to remake it, much less do it in a straightforward manner. Information should be delivered very carefully and delicately and start from the beginning with strengths and advantages.

In dialogue, always speak for yourself and your feelings. Do not “poke” or get personal. “Why you you are late, I’m waiting for you, and you you can’t even warn you “or” I was waiting for you very much, it is very important for me to know when you come, it is easier for me to plan my day. Agree, there is a difference.

Select expression

Before you say something, you should think about in what form and how best to convey the desired idea. Sometimes a harmless thing or a careless statement can change the course of an entire conversation. It is necessary to identify topics that provoke acute reactions and try to avoid them. Choose with your other half the stop word that your opponent or you say at the time of the conflict. His pronunciation instantly stops the dialogue, the theme changes. Thus, you do not let the situation escalate to the limit and the stop word becomes a magic wand in any conflict..

Be flexible

It is always easier for a woman to adapt to the situation than for a man. Men with a complex character, as a rule, do not give in, stand their ground and consider themselves always right. This does not mean that a woman with such a man should always give in. You need to be more flexible and wiser. Women’s strength is in weakness, so at the next attack, you can keep silent / hug and say affectionate words or a compliment / translate the topic or note that you forgot to thank him for the neatly nailed shelf.

Find a compromise

Being with a person with a million complaints is very difficult, sometimes even unbearable. If you play only by the “abuser” rules, this relationship becomes toxic and your life will be unbearable. Each person’s complexity of character lies in their weaknesses and complexes, and it is necessary to clearly discuss the algorithm of actions when difficulties arise in communication. If you immediately agree on forbidden topics and conflict genes, as well as situations that cause aggression, you can avoid many quarrels and maintain your emotional health..

Don’t be offended

The complexity of character may lie in male authoritarianism, resentment, aggressiveness, arrogance, petty tyranny and other manifestations. All this one way or another will affect your relationship and you personally. A loved one is someone who values, respects and protects you. If the other half oversteps the permissible boundaries, it is imperative to make him understand that you cannot be treated like that. If you see that a person is trying not to let his character spoil your relationship, this is one question, and if the case smacks of abuse or gaslighting, without hesitation, you need to end the toxic relationship.